Everything has a starting point and we all need to Think on purpose! I never had the luxury of proof, but I did have the energy from deep within and the aspirational light from my incoming thoughts.

Thoughts are Things

Thinking Things ! that shape and influence outcomes
This whole human process of thoughts in, and thinking out, seemed to be something that arrived without a manual.

I have written this for those like me, so if you have been lucky enough to not have been touched by cancer, you may find some of my analogies and rationale a little bit stretched ?

For a lot of people it is a real challenge to deal with all their incoming thoughts, and for those of us with cancer, time becomes an added pressure.

To deal with this, I began creating a funnel type process that sifted and simplified my incoming thoughts, a type of hub or portal to begin the process and maximise the potential of my thoughts. I also mentally developed a ‘Looking Glass’ – a little knock off from Alice in Wonderland. This allowed me to look through my incoming thoughts as if each were real and develop them into thinking things – stuff of action.

I felt that I never had the luxury of proof, and I just had to trust my own thoughts and thinking as a key to a better outcome.

‘Thoughts and Thinking’ are things that influenced my story.

What I have learnt and write here now was born under pressure as many times I was unable to open my eyes and could not move, I was pinned to the floor 6 days a week for months on end. I realised that I could still think, and that my thoughts kept freely flowing in, so with my eyes closed I began picturing and designing a dream machine to begin the process of utilising my thoughts and develop better thinking things from them. This was another leg in my journey, I was now attempting to survive from the inside out, this would be how I climb out of a very deep and dark place.

Just making the decision and taking the action to do all this, gave me a new strong sense of freedom that flowed through me, liberating me from the fear of battle with “Cholangio the Beast.” I could feel and see a new evolutionary plan emerging from within.

I knew I was ill prepared for a full frontal assault on a battleground that I did not know, against an unbeaten and formidable foe who left no survivors in it’s reckless rampages of destruction, but I sensed a choice, and with choice, chance grows and so did I.

I allowed myself the luxury and perhaps the opportunity to be open and evolve from deep within, to see past the beast that clouded my view, it felt a little like the first time I rode no-hands on my bike – Scary and exhilarating in the same moment.

The plan emerged and evolved

In my waking or more conscious moments I wrote down a few things from my thoughts, stuff that I would have to do if I was to succeed. To be successful meant I would need to perform a Walk on Water stunt to get to the other side, so I headed up my list “Walk on Water and Tick Tiny Goals” I did not want to leave any stone unturned that was within my control.

The List

I have to start this and I have to keep it moving, so take the next step and the one beyond that until momentum embraces me.
Slow down, Pause, Stop, See and feel – then re-engage.
Being a little unrealistic often, is vital, it will feed my dreams and sharpen my vision, purpose and direction.
Do one thing at a time and …
Be Remarkable @ it
Be Resourceful with it
Add Value to it and all those engaged in it with me.
Surround it all with talented people who can make it a reality.

That was the bones, all I need to do was take the next step and begin the process of realising my survival and life of potentials beyond the beast.

A bonus occurred!

The noise was drowned out by my crazy thoughts of survival – I was so distracted building and evolving my plans that I almost forgot I was dying.

I hope that my next edition on this subject is all about “Surviving and thriving from the inside out” as I now head into my next tunnel of Scanxiety!